it was quite the sight to see. there must have been, like, 5000 people, if not more. and they were lined alllllll the way down the street -i don't know where they started or ended- and were carrying flags and signs and all wearing the same t-shirts. and there were these absolutely massive speakers blaring what i assumed were anti-genocide slogans or something along those lines.
personally, i thought it was really nice to see everyone come together and fight for a cause. and it made me think about the fact that i have fairly loose ties to both of my cultural backgrounds..and that when it comes to belonging to a ethnic group -not just in terms of my background, but in terms of one's membership in a specific cultural community -i don't have that with either of my parents' backgrounds. and at the same time, because i'm not 100% this or that, it's hard to identify fully with one or the other because i don't truly belong to either...i don't speak the language, understand the culture...or look the part.
i guess you can't have everything, right?
anyway, other than that, today i realized that insecurity in girls (and in guys, too) is probably the number one reason behind a person's unattractiveness...in my opinion. when it's the first thing you can pick out about a person, that person is someone you probably don't want to find yourself too close to.
at the gym this morning, this guy i see all the time (and whose mom i talk to!) was there with his girlfriend. obviously this girl's pov is going to be completely different than mine -but for the first time, ever, i can say i'm the reasonable party in this situation. so, other than my usual hi..i couldn't care less that they were there. it's funny because when his girlfriend's not there, he acts quite differently, is much more social and all over "friendlier". he usually tries to make conversation which i try to get out of as quickly as possible. oddly enough, today, he just said hi (looked really uncomfortable, which is understandable given who he was with, i guess) -and then went back to spotting his girlfriend who was bench-pressing the bar with no weight on it.
anyway, it turns out that she thought her bf was "looking at me" -and fully blasted him for it in the middle of the weight room LOL. i guess she thought i couldn't hear what she was saying because i had my headphones on. but, helloooo...iPods have a play/pause button for a reason =P
anyway, "insecure" should have been stapled to her forehead...and i felt bad for her -but at the same time, flattered and totally empowered (although i know, that's terrible of me). i just found it interesting that she'd be that way because she wasn't unattractive by any means -rather, she was pretty...kinda orange from her fake tan..but pretty, nonetheless -and coming from me, that means something. at the same time, he's really not the greatest catch..so i mean, she really doesn't have anything to worry about.
but i guess sometimes, people are blinded by love...
my point though is that being able to see that level of insecurity in a decent-looking girl just showed me how unattractive even the nicer-looking people can be. and that confidence and security in a person is something that really shines through early on...and i never, ever, ever want to be like that (again?) because now i know how it looks to others. and honestly, it's embarrassing.
so, to all you decent girls with decent boyfriends...have faith in your relationship by having faith in yourself, first. your significant other sees something in you that he doesn't see in anyone else and that is why you're together. a lot of relationships fall apart because insecurities work towards creating a divide between people. so don't condemn something so great to hell just because of those hollow fears...it's a crime i've committed. and if i knew then what i know now..i'm 99% sure that things would be different.
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