thank you god for the bible.

so i've committed myself wholly to the completion of this 60-Day Challenge...

and i know it's pathetic to have to read a book about break-ups...let alone read a book titled it's called a break-up because it's broken, in order to figure out what it is you actually have to do...and how to do it.

but now that i have, i'm glad that i did!

so, today's day five. and so far, it's been soooooooo good =)

i just feel ridiculous not having done this a year ago! but who's holding onto the past? it's all about moving forward with things. nevermind the mistakes you've made -they're behind you, they're there for a reason...and that's where they'll stay.

the whole point of the book isn't to actually tell you that cutting off all ties with your ex is the right thing to do. because as illogical as women are...(or can be), we already know that. but it gives you the proper guidance and support necessary to be successful in the so-called "he-toxification" challenge it proposes -rather, insists- you undertake. it makes you feel like you're really not alone; that it is possible to move on and up in your life; that being pitied is not something you truly want; that there is something or someone so much better waiting for you out there; and that you'll never find it -or him- given your current state.

so i found JUST what i needed -and if timing is everything, then maybe i had to go through this past year of hell to learn what i know today. but, honestly, it's such a great book and has officially become a family heirloom; one which my daughter-to-be will inherit after her first, serious break-up. i honestly think it just might be the greatest gift i could hypothetically give her, besides life.

as for me though, i realized that i was in this hugely severe state of denial and had put this mental block on what was actually happening in my life -but was running purely on my emotions, which, i've learned are completely out of whack (at times). it was as if i was temporarily blinded; which, i know, sounds dramatic, but there's really no other way to express what i felt was going on. and now, after reading it's called a break-up because it's broken (and being in the beginning stages of the bible part II a.k.a. he's just not that into you), i've realized that as hurtful as it is to admit, he really just wasn't THAT into me. this isn't to say that he wasn't kinda into me, cuz i know he was..sometimes. just not all the time or all that much.

and it's somewhat unfortunate..or is it?

either way, it's nobody's fault.

it just means that there is someone who will be that into me that simply isn't him.