making it count.

I honestly never thought I’d see the day I’d wake up in the morning and actually be "okay", in every sense of the word. Granted, life comes laden with problem after problem –but having gained awareness of the extent to which I was allowing my fears to dictate my failures, I came to realize that the lack of faith I had in myself made it impossible to break past that final limitation which, for so long, has held me back and has, up until now, crippled any potential I may have possessed to wholly move past that which once was.

I suspect my belief in that everything does –without doubt –happen for a reason…whatever that reason may be… played a role in my unwillingness to let go of the list of empty promises I was under the impression ought to have come true. But, if there’s one thing I’ve learned the hard way: you just can’t know why things happen the way they do. And what’s worse: the harder you push to find the right answer, the longer the waiting game. But, perhaps, that is exactly where we find the beauty in and amongst the confusion and pain which so often manifest themselves in our daily lives...waiting in line, for revelation to strike.

Ultimately, life should be –and has been –a full-force learning experience, in itself. Nonetheless, we humans are, by design, fated to continually make mistakes. What counts most, at the end of the day, is that one is able to learn from one’s mistakes –and boy, have I learned my lesson…

Yes, every little thing (as insignificant as it may seem at the time) happens for some reason or other. But, sometimes, those reasons change somewhere along the way. And what it all boils down to is, essentially, perspective: life is not based on what you have or who you belong to –but how you think. And whereas I was, once upon a time, that naïve, unsuspecting little girl, in need of a saviour; somehow, by means of this  “process” i've endured, i've found the strength and the courage to save myself. It truly is what I've been in search of all this time...and I've finally found it.

I'm finally here =)